The worst thing is I can hear his voice when I read his responses. Out of my head, Fabio!

[ghostdrive]

Yes, Mr. Romance Novel himself, Fabio, has been answering a letter per issue for EGM these past 4 months in their "Ask an EGM cover model" section of the reader mail. Guys, this is hilarious in more ways than I can express. Come on, the guy is a pop culture icon (...of sorts XD), and he's answering letters in a video game magazine. I LAUGH INSANELY because I'm full of crazy. Here's the letter for Fabio from the April issue of EGM (#214).

Dear Fabio: I created a Wii Mii that looks exactly like me, but he looked lonely so I created a girlfriend for him. They cannot date or perform coitus. Actually, pretty much all they can do is go on parade and arm wrestle in WarioWare. Is this healthy? Should I be concerned about my mental state? --Ephraim

Fabio responds: Ephraim, you don't need to worry about your mental state, but it sounds like you should try to get out of the house more often. Girls like a guy who project a confident attitude. And--trust me on this--interactions with an actual girl are a lot more fun than playing with your Mii (or your wee wee). Good luck!

Big props to Fabio for not sounding the least bit disturbed that this guy just basically admitted to wanting his Miis to have sex (Yech!). Pretty much he says the same thing each month, "Portray confidence! The ladies love it! I can't believe its not butter! Good luck!" but his responses are entertaining nonetheless.

In case you want to ask Fabio a question (and you know you want to XD) here's what EGM has to say: Have a question about life, love, exotic creams, or anything else for Fabio, who appeared on the cover of EGM #3? E-mail EGM@ziffdavis.com, subject: "Dear Fabio." We're not kidding. Fabio really answers these!

The following isn't really a notable letter, I just found the beginning of EGM's response hilarious. XD

History Wiipeats itself?
When EGM declared 2007 the "Best Year Ever" for games (EGM #212), I couldn't wait to read what was on the grill for the only next-gen console I own: the Wii. Man, was I disappointed. You listed 36 games coming out for the 360, 32 titles for the PS3. The Wii got a lousy 12. And while you were singing the praises of such upcoming ass-kickers as Halo 3, Lair, BioShock, and company, what do Wii owners have to look forward to? Another lame Sonic game, another Pokemon game, Cooking Mama, Mario Party 8...ugh. And the sale in the wound: You show eight games slated for 2008 that look amazing, too, and not one of them is a Wii title either. Assuage my fears, EGM: I'm afraid Nintendo fans might have another GameCube on our hands.

First of all: You will not dis Cooking Mama. How dare you? You get to chop onions! You get to roll dough! How can you not be excited about that? Second: Perhaps you're forgetting Metroid Prime 3? Super Mario Galaxy? Dragon Quest Swords? Super Smash Bros. Brawl? Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles? Sure, the Wii may not have as vast a lineup as the other systems, but it's got more than its fair share of strong games for '07.

Ahahaha, I imagine the first few sentences being punctuated with head bobbing and nasal speaking (à la "Oh no he didn't."). But seriously, Cooking Mama really is a fun DS game. Making mochi and draining pasta has never been so addicting. XD

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My cousin fell off his bike last night and injured both of his arms, but the doctor told him it would take ten days before they could tell if anything was broken/fractured/whatever. Now, I've never had a broken bone, neither has my mom or brother, but this sounds very strange to me. Come forth, those of you with broken bone knowledge! Is his doctor (or whatever the hell clinic he went to) just crappy or is this not as unusual as I think?

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From Kotaku: Lego Wii -- This looks so cool. ♥ I LOVE LEGOS.